Tag Archives: #stress

Guilt making me not work

You know what I feel like right now ? I feel like I might be diving into depression but then I might be confusing depression with guilt.

I know I should be working harder on something, but that thing requires a lot of hard work and I know I can’t work as hard as others are and this is overwhelming me.

This feeling of not being able to work that hard is making me not even work at this thing. The guilt of this is eating me and I think that what I have is depression but it’s mixed with guilt.

I worked so hard before, day and night to get where I’m at but if don’t work hard now then that hard work of mine will go to waste and that breaks me.

You know when you workwd hard on something before and you come to the conclusion that that work wouldn’t matter if you don’t work now.

But I need someone to patch things up for me and no one understands that. I’ve got my family and they’re counting on me, they’ve got certain expectations they expect me to meet.

My family says that we’re here when you need us but I don’t know, I feel like this time they can’t help me and I don’t have anyone who could help me in this.

Honestly this blog is turning into my diary but I enjoy writing and sharing my part of life. That’s why it’s called “Life Blog”.

Regards 💕

Not at peace

My mind’s not grateful enough. Even though everything around me is peaceful it comes up with stuff to disrupt that peace.

I keep on looking for a person who could help me with calming my mind when I know it’s only me who can do anything about it not some stranger from the outer world.

No sibling of the same gender

You can be girl or a boy but if you don’t have a sibling of the same gender then you’ll definitely know what I’m talking about.

I don’t have the sibling of the same gender and I don’t get along with my siblings because they just don’t get it.

I look for a sister in every friend of mine. But obviously people in this world are selfish and they’re not aware of that fact.

If I want to talk to my friends they’ll seen zone me for a day and then text me the next day that “we were busy” .

Well maybe you were but I just needed you at that time – now I’m fine.

My heart always breaks when I see siblings of the same gender getting along so well that I cry my eyes out before going to sleep.

Not that my sibling don’t try to not make me feel alone it’s just that I can’t help it. It hurts.

Quit being a people pleaser

Living to please others is something we should let go of. I hated it when people disliked something about me. I would change my likes and dislikes to their likes and dislikes but it has never helped me.

Being a people pleaser kinda eats you from the inside. It makes you feel like you’re not enough and you know what? You’ll never be enough for people who require pleasing. Get that through your mind.

Don’t change yourself for people.

I was a person who didn’t have a personality of her own. I would be different with different people. I would study the people the first week after our introduction and everything and become the kind of person they liked.

But there came a time when I had a lot of questions in my mind like:

1. Can I not be myself with people?

2. Should I care if they don’t like the way I am?

That’s when I became myself. That doesn’t mean that I became a rude person or anything but what it means is that I stopped pleasing people.

Because it was affecting my health in a bad way. It is overwhelming when you have to act the whole day. Act a person who’s not you. You cry yourself to sleep sometimes. Look into your reflection and ignore your beauty and cuss at your flaws instead.

Keep one thing in your mind, everyone. You are amazing. What people think and say is their problem, not yours. Don’t mistreat people. Stay humble.

Be true to yourself. Be you.

Losing hope after being hopeful for so long ?

I’m normally an optimistic person. Emphasizing a bit on the word normally. Covid is not normal at all and I’ve been stuck in this house for more than a year now. They open the institutes , we meet our friends but then after a week they close the institutions once again. It’s not their fault either but it’s irritating and I’m done.

Till the end of last year I was hopeful because I thought that it’s been a year and we’ll get out of this stronger. New year brings new hope and well covid will leave , it’ll end but it doesn’t seem to be even close to ending.

The hope is fading. The small light in a dark cave is becoming dimmer day by day. Where I live the positivity ratio was 12% today and it ain’t a very big town. It scares me.

I want to be hopeful but hope just doesn’t wanna reside within me. It wants to leave. I’m desperate to hear the sweet news which for me is “covid has ended “. That we’ve defeated it.

It’s not that I’ve stopped following the SOPs . I haven’t! But I’m done hearing tragic news about people dying of this virus. People losing their loved ones to this covid.

Thousands of questions are arising in my mind like, why did people have to eat bats in the first place? , Isn’t eating bats disgusting? , haven’t you heard of draculas?

Even then I can’t help but give myself hope that this covid will not defeat us and the ray of hope inside us. We will come out of this stronger. I hope we do and I hope it ends.

But you know what ? I feel like it’s not going to be the old normal after this covid ends.

We’ll have a new normal. What do you think?